i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
