You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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