Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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