Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
