Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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