my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize