When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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