you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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