Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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