i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
