Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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