Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
