youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
