She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
