She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
