Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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