I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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