I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
