Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
