no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
