Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
