just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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