he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
