Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize