the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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