So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
