next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
