Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
