I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
