By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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