i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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