Pants 0. Shit 1.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
God, I missed his penis.
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