He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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