I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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