just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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