I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
