If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
