Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize