i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
