Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
