HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
