he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
