i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
