i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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