you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
