shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize