if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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