Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
