Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
