Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
