Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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