She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He better not be in your backpack
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
