dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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