your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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