He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
