"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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