oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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