I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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