i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
