i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
