singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
