fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
