I just pynch a tree in the face
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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