So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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