I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
