Life is so much better after having sex.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
