well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
