Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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