One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you never un-have a 4some
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
