do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
