I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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