Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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