And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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